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Livy Molko

Articles/On Campus/Opinion

You Unsuspecting Fools: I Wore Lenseless Glasses All Day and Nobody Noticed

by Livy Molko
December 8, 2025December 5, 2025

When I found a pair of wire-framed glasses on the floor of JJ’s last Thursday night, I knew I was about to deceive you bitches. When I pressed my thumb against those…

Articles/Food and Drink/On Campus

Chef Mike’s App Adds New “Meet Your Meat” Feature

by Oliver Green and Livy Molko
December 8, 2025December 5, 2025

More than 400 Columbia students enter the hallowed halls of Chef Mike’s each day. And at least one of them has asked, “where does my ham come from?” Well, with the launch…

Articles/Food and Drink/New York City

Joe Coffee to Offer New Milk Varieties For Their Winter Menu

by Livy Molko
December 8, 2025December 4, 2025

As an exciting new season approaches, beloved coffee chain Joe Coffee has decided to venture into innovative new corners of the coffee business. Instead of their usual winter menu items, they have…

Articles/Business/On Campus

My Parents Came for Parents Weekend and Found Out I Make Reborn Baby Dolls

by Livy Molko
October 27, 2025October 24, 2025

The first hint was the stroller outside my dorm. But the chaos really began when my parents saw the crib next to my bed. “I’m nesting,” I explained to them, as they…

Articles/On Campus/Politics

Slackline Installed on Campus, Students Go Berserk

by Livy Molko
October 27, 2025October 22, 2025

“AHHHHHHHHHHHH,” yelled one extraordinarily elated, wool-sock wearing student from Low steps when first catching a glimpse of the newest addition to Columbia’s campus. “I LOVE THIS SCHOOOOLLL,” remarks a laughing and skipping…

Advice/Articles/Food and Drink/On Campus

Bello! I Am A Minion. Here is la Banana Review Para Tu

by Livy Molko
September 29, 2025September 23, 2025

Me want banana! So me papoy bo-ka la banana from John Jay. “Tulaliloo ti amo!” papoy me say to le worker at John Jay. Mais po-ka? La banana was green? Blumock! Nononono,…

Articles/Opinion/Style

Fed-estimonial: Why I Invested My Last $400 Dollars Into a 12-Week Clown Course.

by Dani Winkler, Reza Shayesteh and Livy Molko
September 29, 2025September 23, 2025

Last week, I found myself at the end of my rope. The excitement of my newly-finalized PoliSci minor was dampened by my inability to answer a cold call from former University President…

Articles/Barnard/Health and Fitness

Barnard LeFreak Center for Well-Being Advertises New Offerings

by Clara Neilson-Papish and Livy Molko
September 29, 2025September 21, 2025

In honor of the first anniversary of Barnard’s LeFreak Center, the wellness center will be offering new complimentary perks for students on the 145 Flex meal plan and above. Qualifying students can…

Advice/Articles

Ice Breaker Ideas for Awkward Freshmen Situations

by Clara Neilson-Papish and Livy Molko
September 29, 2025September 25, 2025

Do you find yourself alone in your freshman dorm on Friday nights? Do you wish you had that textbook group of friends to play hacky sack with on the lawns? If you…

Articles/Politics

Trump Insecure About Jawline, Purchases Gua Sha

by Livy Molko
May 5, 2025May 3, 2025

We all have our insecurities. Believe it or not, even the President of the United States does. Reportedly, Temu delivery driver Kyle Scott, delivered a large shipment of jade green gua sha…

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