Trump’s anti-DEI push continues. Executive Order 11354, the latest in a series of anti-DEI measures meant to counteract a perceived liberal dominance in the federal government, officially renamed the first trans-continental railroad–also…
In a stunning development that some are calling a “constitutional crisis,” Mayor Eric Adams has recently entered a plea of “I Know You Are, But What Am I” in exchange for the…
Stunned sources at the latest Columbia Federalist meeting reported that the most recent pitch for the upcoming issue was clearly a thinly disguised attempt to air out the writer’s recent trauma. Inside…
I was running late to class, and I needed to get to Hamilton as quickly as possible. I went through the 114th entrance to campus, and put my hand through the tarp…
“Lmao, my bad y’all,” Announces Barnard President Reporting that she “felt really bad about this,” and that “it’s always in the last place you look,” Barnard President Laura Rosenbury announced that she…
It’s no secret that national security advisor Mike Waltz is in trouble for adding Atlantic editor-in-chief Jeffrey Goldberg to a private signal group discussing classified military information, including bombing plans in Yemen.…
After recent reports of activists engaging in sit-ins, an alleged bomb threat, and $400 million dollars of federal contracts and grants being frozen by the Department of Justice (DOJ), Department of Health…
In a stunning announcement from the President’s Office, Columbia University will be instituting congestion pricing in an attempt to cut down on wait times to enter campus during peak hours. Columbia becomes…
As of 1:47 AM, The Federalist can officially confirm that your roommate has officially thrown his hat into the ring and is currently running for CC 2026 class representative. In a stunning…
New reports confirm that Barron Trump, in an attempt to juice up the attendance for his freshman-year birthday party at NYU, has proclaimed that one lucky partygoer will be selected to serve…
