Forget Jane Street—the most in-demand summer internship this year is at the food truck at 116th and Broadway. Summer applications for the coveted Hooda Halal internship program opened this fall, and interested…
Fed Reincorporates Into Pennsylvania, Aims to Commit Late-Term Voter Fraud
Last week, The Fed announced that they would be re-registering as a corporation within the state of Pennsylvania, effectively giving their 40+ members the right to register and vote (albeit belatedly) in…
Funniest Outcome Possible: Trump to Drop Out of Presidential Race, Battle Hilary Clinton in NYC Mayoral Race
On Sunday, former President Donald Trump announced that he was dropping out of the upcoming presidential election. Instead, Trump will be switching races to run for the seat of NYC mayor in…
Shrubland speaks out! In an exclusive interview with The Federalist, Chaparral Biome – known for her hot, dry summers and cool, wet winters – has distanced herself from fellow celebrity Chappell Roan.…
It was 6:30 p.m. The air was hot, damp, and buzzing with mosquitoes. I had just clocked out of my summer job as a cart girl at a neighborhood golf course. My…
Oh, you were at Brooklyn Mirage (pre-serial killer, obvs) bouncing around in a white tank with no bra on? That’s cool. I was trying to catch the B up to Times Square/42nd…
MANHATTAN, NEW YORK – Earlier this month, the New York Post reported that Barron Trump, son of Donald and Melania Trump, was beginning his first year at New York University’s Stern School…
Letters of Continued Interest To Be Required for Senior Cruise Hopefuls
In response to both increased class sizes and a growing demand for guests at the 2024 Senior Boat Cruise, the Columbia Senior Week Committee has instituted a policy allowing ticketless seniors to…
Uniformed Men in Pink, Green, and White Destroy Cafe East Frozen Yogurt Machines
Last Sunday at 11:59 pm, Cafe East employee Earl Yearling returned from his smoke break to check on his latest batch of boba when he spotted two men deconstructing the on-campus café’s…
On Monday, Columbia Dining, in partnership with the Columbia College and Columbia Engineering office for Multicultural Affairs, announced that Café East will be transformed into an Erewhon come Spring 2025. “At Columbia,…