After enormous media backlash for derogatory remarks made by a comedian at Trump’s Madison Square Garden rally on Sunday including calling Puerto Rico an “island of garbage,” the former president’s campaign has…
Hey you! Sick of being just another one of those lanky dweebs who blends into the background of every Halloweekend party? Every second wasted on school work or self care is a…
With Halloween right around the corner, it is only appropriate that I share a spooky story that rattled me to the bone. It all began one fateful Monday evening. I had gone…
What can I say? She’s your favorite mentally-ill bitch’s favorite mentally-ill bitch, and I can’t help but stan her for it. Sorry if women having boundaries makes you feel emasculated or cheated…
Neil Gorsuch is distinctly not dead. However, his legacy of The Fed takes up enough of my time and sanity that I must question his inadvertent influence on my life. I’m becoming…
Due to limited seating in the Barnard dining hall, Hewitt, as well as an overwhelming number of complaints by frustrated Barnard Students, steps are being taken to limit the number of Columbia…
I finally did it. I stuck it in for the first time. And by it, I mean my absentee ballot–I stuck it into the mailbox. (Get your head out of the gutter,…
Wondering where you’re going to spend those 50 blissful minutes of venting, sweating, shivering, and giggling you enjoy each week in therapy? Don’t worry, research shows that these 3 spots on campus…
The Hudson River: home to fish, party cruises, sewage, chemical contamination, and, now, the Columbia College swim test. In a recent change by Columbia administrators, students graduating in 2028 and later will…
In a stunning revelation, a Columbia student who claims to have visited Heaven has reported that the pearly gates themselves now require a CUID. “So there’s this guy at the front, sitting…
