Since Donald Trump’s victory in the November 5th presidential election, Columbia’s campus has been shrouded by turmoil and widespread liberal dread. Many students are concerned about their own safety and security, as…
Do you know what’s in your breakfast? A concerning new study has revealed that the scrambled eggs served in Columbia and Barnard dining halls actually contain trace amounts of egg. The study…
Columbia’s annual tree lighting is a cherished tradition to students and faculty alike. This year, make sure you’re there in person when the big moment comes. Administration has rearranged the schedule to…
One of the most important roles of a Columbia professor is to misrepresent facts to indoctrinate students into socialist, America-hating, pink-haired freaks. This is not only a part of their job description,…
On Monday, Mayor Eric Adams and New York City’s Department of Environmental Protection declared the city’s first drought warning in 22 years. This autumn’s severe dry conditions and recent brush fires drove…
In the days of Katrina Armstrong, Interim President of Columbia, an angel of the Lord appeared to Mary in an email, and spoke to her, announcing : “Dear advisees, I hope your…
PSA TO CURRENT COLUMBIA STUDENTS: As tensions on campus heighten and the administration furthers their crackdown on student groups, guests on campus, and security protocols, it’s essential that you, as a student,…
Autumn has arrived in Morningside Heights, and around the Low Library steps that means one thing: The statue of Alma Mater is furiously demanding a sacrifice worthy of her greatness. Yep, Fall…
In a brave and controversial stand, one courageous student has spoken out against the devastating impacts of student protests. “These protests are ruining my classic college experience,” writes John Blutarsky, a sophomore…
Columbia Dining recently announced that, effective immediately, any student who purchases a meal at Ferris Booth Commons must also enroll in a weekly discussion section. “We recognize that content is understood more…
