Fearing an imminent change in employment, Mayor Eric Adams was recently seen editing his application to the School of General Studies, unsure if his knowledge of the Turkish language will help or…
Following a recent NYC Health food inspection of Ferris Booth Commons, the directorship of Columbia Dining was last seen pouring through their Health Standards syllabus to see if their end-of-year grade would…
So, the Yankees lost the World Series. You spent all that time learning player names so you could pretend to be a fan when they won, but then the Yankees lost. But…
A new USNews report released on Sunday revealed Columbia’s rise in USNews’ specialized rankings, reportedly due to recent data releases regarding the employment statuses of past university presidents. Over the last three…
Recently uncovered documents from the Columbia University Libraries revealed that despite hundreds of years as an independent operation, Columbia University is technically a mere satellite campus for the New Jersey-based Princeton University.…
Following four years of disappointing returns exacerbated by the Coronavirus pandemic, Public Safety assuaged fears of its efficiency by bringing home the bacon big time: earning twenty-two million dollars in seized contraband…
By Lee Bollinger I served as Columbia’s president for more than twenty years, even extending my tenure to keep the school stable during a global pandemic. For even longer, I worked to…
In a heretofore unseen display of brutality, Economics Professor Ben Gordon quietly revised the deadline for Problem Set 3 of UN2178: The German Economy from 11:59 PM to 11:58 PM, resulting in…
Last Sunday at 11:59 pm, Cafe East employee Earl Yearling returned from his smoke break to check on his latest batch of boba when he spotted two men deconstructing the on-campus café’s…
Following a visit to campus by inspectors from the Middle States Commission on Higher Education, the Columbia Graduate School of Architecture, Planning and Preservation was shut down in a mere thirty seconds.…
