We at The Federalist have been closely monitoring his finsta account, @FrancisLuvsFannies, and have discovered no such likes. This leads us to believe that while he conceals his freakier follows, the Pope…
Barnard students, once promised a sweet, sweet, robust, multi-million-dollar, testing regime, are left to fuck themselves with a Hitachi wand. Instead, Columbia donated Barnard’s shipment of fucks to NYU under the circumstances…
The list of cons is topped by, and consists exclusively of, the entrapment of my titties against the wind. Don’t we all deserve to feel that?…
“We’re going all out to ensure that every sad boi finds his sad non-gendered partner this Valentine’s Day.”…
“I mean, I’m very socially progressive and pro-sex and everything,” Carrie’s roommate Charlotte explains, “but come on, I need to get into my room sometimes to change my shirt or take my…
“Listen, there’s only like four openings left in the job market in this country, and I’m not getting left behind because I didn’t do enough resume optimization.”…
"The two girls, who refer to themselves collectively as '704,' their room number, have begun the semester with conflicting class schedules."…
