"As of press time, the research team reported they had gotten 'blitzed' off of $7 vodka and had just purchased tickets to a Dave Matthews reunion tour show."…
Student Whose Grandfather Sacrificed Everything for American Dream Has Not Bothered to Try Shake Shack
by Ani Wilcenski and Max Rosenberg
“It’s just so unhealthy,” said Jablonsky, whose grandfather trekked across Europe with just two potatoes in his battered rucksack to catch a passage to America. “Too much saturated fat. And, oh God,…
"As of press time, a full four minutes after class was supposed to end, Timmons was seen transitioning into an involved monologue about the finer points of Thucydides’ sexuality."…
"Not saying I wanted the full sabotage apparatus, but a few measly articles about Obama’s forged birth certificate would have really come in handy when Sarah Palin couldn’t name a single newspaper.”…
"It may be hard work, but we will never stop policing injustices as long as doing so draws attention to our social media presence.”…
"My views are evolving to reflect the changing needs and perspectives of my diverse constituents," the Lord writes in a heartfelt op-ed.…
It shattered all the records.…
"Columbia prides itself in taking the financial needs of its students very seriously.”…
She euphorically closed all twelve Courseworks tabs on her computer and logged into Netflix.…
He even made his roommate take down the Budweiser posters, but that was for aesthetic reasons.…
