Every year, Columbia students gather on Butler Lawn for a beloved tradition: Surf & Turf. But before you young Columbians fill your plates with those fly-infested mountains of shrimp and beef, you…
Whence this takeout is I think I know. To me those doors are now closed though; No one will see me stopping here To watch John Jay pile up with snow. My…
When asked by Federalist reporters about her dedication to clean eating, Woods replied, “My body is a temple. It’s important to respect it by avoiding harmful products.” She then whipped out a…
Gone are the days of performance evaluations and career fairs. Now, I focus on ensuring my Sim prepares a Michelin star meal every night for her breadwinning husband.…
Back then, there weren’t any pesky child labor laws. I earned my stripes first in a blacking factory, then as a chimney sweep for Charles Dickens. According to the town physician I…
It’s time to break out those safety scissors from your second grade pencil box. (Poultry scissors will suffice in a pinch.) Just grab a chunk of hair from the center of your…
Jensen had been frequenting JJ’s since his first semester at Columbia, when the smell of greasy, heart attack-inducing food lured him from his John Jay single at 4 A.M.…
6. Peter Rabbit: 0/10 - Minus 9.5 points because he’s voiced by James Corden. Minus another 0.5 points because his movie mocks children with allergies… #CancelPeterRabbit let’s get it trending!!!!…
Even though we’re in the midst of a pandemic, there’s still so much pressure to meet someone you like, build a symbiotic relationship, and produce 100 zygotes by the age of 27.…
And look, I’m not saying that I’m going to reenact the end of The Shining, I’m just open to the possibility.…
