Since Donald Trump’s victory in the November 5th presidential election, Columbia’s campus has been shrouded by turmoil and widespread liberal dread. Many students are concerned about their own safety and security, as well as the future of the country as a whole. One made-up study found that over 96 percent of Columbia students report feeling anxiety, stress, or depression due to the election. This makes life on campus a bit of a bummer. However, to look on the bright side, a multitude of reports are confirming that the vibes are way better back home.
That’s something to look forward to, right?
Multiple sources have reported that the people in the place that you come from are most likely much more excited about the results than everyone here. So, when winter break rolls around and you head on back to Indiana or whichever swing state you’re from, know that the vibe there is less “sad” and more “violently celebratory.”
Sure, to a staunchly left-leaning college campus in New York City, this election might have been disappointing. But to your uncles, these next four years are basically Mardi Gras. Except instead of beads and jazz, they celebrate with humiliatingly tacky hats, increasingly blatant bigotry, and liking Elon Musk now. That’s fun in its own way, you know?
There are a few important things to remember when you head back home this December:
First off, no matter what your personal views are on this election, this was actually the biggest moment of your grandpa’s life, so try not to be a Debbie Downer about it, okay? He will get sad in his own time, likely when Trump cuts his Social Security or healthcare. Until then, try not to rain on his parade, rally, or insurrection or whatever.
Secondly, just because your political views differ from the people in your hometown doesn’t mean you should judge them or cut them off entirely. Practice being open-minded! So what, they voted against your candidate, or your interests, or your values, or your rights, or your identity, or your future, or your family’s future, or yourself as a concept? That doesn’t mean that you have to be such a baby about it.
Third, remember that no matter what happens, these people are your family, and you are literally related to them, which means you maybe share the same brain cells? Do with that what you will, I guess.
Happy winter break!
