Infamous for its controversial alumni including Donald Trump, Elon Musk, and Dr. Oz, the University of Pennsylvania really needed a cool, likeable alumnus to rebuke their current public perception as the nation’s top douche factory. Their prayers were answered yesterday, when the news broke that a person of interest in the shooting of UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson is Penn grad and cultural icon Luigi Mangione.
I’m sure they’re happy to have points on the board.
Penn’s admissions department has already taken full advantage of the development, claiming the school has “the top class warfare program in the country” and that students are taught “critical thinking, ingenuity, and the art of vigilante justice.” The school has also emphasized the diversity of their student body, claiming that “we aren’t just dickwads anymore.”
Columbia has scrambled to keep pace with Penn’s new image, posting several times about how “Alexander Hamilton has a way higher body count than the hot guy from the NYPD posters” and “you could make TikTok edits about FDR too, if you want.”
