Are you such a pathetic little football team that you just love being degraded and humiliated by every major news outlet in the United States? Do you like having your first win in 60 years overshadowed by how terrible your reputation is? It’s so embarrassing how long it took you to finish…
Oh, you enjoyed having men slam your body into the dirt for the last six games this season, huh? Do you like being dirty little losers who had to cry to mommy about how Mr. Big Coachy-Woachy kept you on that measly little bench?
You never really thought you’d win this, huh? You didn’t deserve it. All the other hot buff Ivy League football boys were born for this. But you? You’re just a little pathetic weeb. You like having a smaller-than-average win streak, don’t you?
I bet you liked splitting your win with three teams, because then it’s like you didn’t really win, because you wouldn’t deserve that, since you suck so much.
I bet you’d like it even better if you’d lost, huh? You just had to win so the Wall Street Journal would slander you in print, you little brat. Oh, I bet you can’t wait till Mr. Big Coachy-Woachy is mad when you underperform next year. You want him to yell at you soooooo hard. That’s a good boy.
