While White House staff has been dreading the return of President-elect Donald Trump, they acknowledge that they are better equipped to handle his needs this time around. In preparation for Trump’s second term, the White House is stocking up on his must-haves for effective governance: coloring books, crayons, and construction paper.
An anonymous White House staffer divulged Trump’s artistic habits with The Federalist. “During boring meetings, Trump often draws semi-realistic eyes on the corner of the paper. He also doodles the occasional iconic 14-line ‘S,’” she told us.
This staffer is currently in the process of obtaining a 64-pack of Crayola crayons with a built-in sharpener at the back of the box. However, she is finding difficulty with this task because Trump’s Chief of Staff has requested a pack that includes a crayon named “Trump Turquoise.” She is also slated to purchase a Joe Biden coloring book titled “Hot Cup of Joe.” When pressed for comment, President-elect Trump remarked, “I intend to have all the best coloring books, believe me,” and then proceeded to insult The Federalist’s impeccable journalistic integrity.
What Trump calls the “big table that he signs stuff on” in the Oval Office is now draped with a long sheet of paper, similar to a Denny’s. The White House is additionally seeking an aide to help with replacing the paper once it gets too full.
To the excitement of some archivists (but the disdain of everyone else), the fridges of the White House will soon be decorated with the President’s art.
