The quiet comfort of a fireplace, the nostalgic joy of making smores, the primal warmth of sitting around a campfire—we all know the feeling. With the overwhelming atmosphere of post-election grief and stress in New York City, Mayor Eric Adams decided that pumping in the scent of a campfire would lift spirits and increase productivity in a disappointed city.
However, this innovative attempt at comfort seems to have backfired. The Fed has noted an uptick in reports of asthma attacks, eye irritation, chest tightness, pulmonary disease flare-ups, and heart attacks.
When asked to comment on the situation, Adams described the scent as “like a lovely apres-ski afternoon,” before coughing into what looked like a wad of Turkish lira as his assistant advised him to return inside.
