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Top Five Places on Campus to Hack Up a Lung this Flu Season!

Flu season is almost upon us and it’s coming up just as we’re leaving mysterious-illness-that-we-all-pretended-was-not-covid season; I know we’re all looking for an empty spot on campus where you can feel free to open-mouth cough between lectures! For all those tickles in your throat that you hold in awkwardly for an hour, here are the best spots to let it all out: 

  1. The Basement Bathroom of St. Paul’s Chapel
    1. Great ambiance down there, and the acoustics…truly can’t be beat!
  2. That Weird Little Platform between Floors 4 and 5 of Lerner Ramps
    1. I’m pretty sure that thing exists outside of the space-time continuum, so any germs will probably be sucked into the void. Win!
  3. An 8:40 that Doesn’t Take Attendance
    1. The only person you’ll be at risk of infecting is the professor (and maybe a grad student if they show up).
  4. Anywhere in Kent
    1. Genuinely can’t figure out if this building is closed or not, so you’re probably all good.
  5. Right Behind My Head in a 175 Person Lecture
    1. No worries! It’s actually totally cool that you still came to class today without a mask and chose to sit right behind me. There are like a million open seats not in my vicinity, truly love your enthusiasm for learning!

Happy Hacking!