This morning, California resident and anonymous sorority pledge Izzy Becket, CC’22, woke up in her $2,500/a month Harlem rental to find several distressed text messages about the 2020 presidential election. After stretching, checking Instagram, and brewing a quick latte, Becket turned on CNN to watch the channel’s coverage of the Pennsylvania vote count. Five minutes later, Becket switched off the TV and proceeded to type an impassioned series of messages to her friends. The Fed has obtained transcripts:
“Based on what I know about Western Pennsylvania,” Becket began, “Biden’s confusing messaging on fracking in the final debate may have cost him votes in Erie county. Fracking is SUCH an important issue for working-class folks out there in coal country, and Trump just really gets that.”
Becket then wrote “I’ve never actually been to Pennsylvania, except when I toured the UPenn campus a couple years ago, but according to what I’ve seen from this one girl I follow on Insta who lives outside Pittsburgh, Biden just doesn’t have the same on-the-ground enthusiasm Trump has managed to get in Westmoreland County. Voters out there only care about jobs, and Trump has been good about focusing on that. Steel City takes care of its own.”
Our sources tell us Becket plans on scrolling through Twitter after lunch to look for some semi-intellectual takes on the voting in Detroit, Michigan.
