Following the success of the Apple TV drama Severance, JJ’s has instituted the severance procedure for all its visitors. Once you go down those sticky, slippery stairs, you won’t remember anything your Innie does in that loud scary place. Columbia Dining has also instituted therapy sessions for the JJ’s Outies. Quotes from the sessions include the following:
- “Your Innie mixes the mango smoothie with the chocolate milkshake.”
- “Your Innie orders pancakes for dinner. Every dinner.”
- “Your Innie reaches over the hamburgers at the front of the counter to get the hottest, freshest hamburger, thereby dangling their germs over the other hamburgers.”
- “Your Innie doesn’t know the difference between an express swipe and a dine-in swipe.”
Praise Kier!
