Each year of my life, I’ve looked forward to the beginning of April like a kid looks forward to presents on Christmas Day. And no, it’s not because of the idiotic, childish pranks that people pull out on April Fool’s Day—I couldn’t care less. Every year, I’m looking forward to April 2nd: International Table Football Day (or April Foos Day, as it is colloquially known).
But when the day arrived this year at Columbia, I soon realized that something had gone terribly wrong. I jumped out of bed at 7 AM and rushed over to the foosball table in Lerner. Gosh, I hope the line isn’t too long, please let me get a game in! I thought nervously. I quickly ran through my pregame ritual: some light calisthenics, a chalk toss, and my classic choreographed pump-up dance to “Eye of the Tiger.”
However, to my utter surprise, the room was empty. The table didn’t even have a ball in it. Is this a joke? How is a first-rate university like Columbia so ill-prepared for such a major holiday? And where were all my worthy foosball challengers? I began wondering if all of my late nights in the Hartley lounge practicing my spins, saves, and trickshots might not have been worth it after all.
I sobbed uncontrollably throughout most of the day, and trudged back home after my final class finished. Everything felt meaningless now, since my foosball skills would never be put to the test. Well, I thought, let’s just hope International Crochet Day (April Spool’s Day) goes a little better tomorrow!
