“Lmao, my bad y’all,” Announces Barnard President
Reporting that she “felt really bad about this,” and that “it’s always in the last place you look,” Barnard President Laura Rosenbury announced that she finally found the $252 million that she had misplaced several months ago. Taking full responsibility for the current financial crisis, Rosenbury announced that she would probably take immediate steps to eventually return some of the money to the Barnard endowment sometime soon.
Embarrassed that her mishap had led to Barnard cutting faculty and staff benefits, Rosenbury noted in apology TikTok that she had turned her house upside down looking for the money. “I ended up vacuuming and dusting my shelves while looking, and threw away some old furniture that I wasn’t doing anything with. So, at the end of the day, what’s the harm?”
Given the large sum, Rosenbury plans to slowly reintroduce the money into Barnard’s budget over the next five years in the form of a staggered presidential salary increase.
