Due to Barnard’s recently publicized debt troubles, administrators have been searching for any easy cost-cutting measures to take to potentially ease the financial burden facing the school. This week, Barnard administrators finally narrowed in on an area of obvious wasteful spending: the Diana Center’s burrito bowls that are usually thrown out half-eaten. Since most students didn’t finish the bowls anyway, the administration thought this would be an easy and painless way to recoup some money for the school.
However, this Monday, the Diana workers walked out of their job and began protesting on Futter Field for a return to the old bowl sizes. Our Spectador reporters were on the scene and interviewed several of the concerned workers.
“I love manning the bowl station, and they just took that from me,” said one worker. “There’s nothing that brings me more joy than a student’s eyes widening as I fill half the bowl with rice, fill it to the brim with meat, and then top it off with a heaping spoonful of beans that rivals Mount Everest! It’s still funny every single time.”
Another worker stated, “Yeah, that shit’s hilarious, the best part is when they try to put some lettuce or guac on top, and it just falls right off onto the floor! Nice try buddy! Yeah, try one more time, that next scoop ought to work! Never gets old.”
Multiple workers reported spending most of their time at work rolling on the floor in laughter as students desperately tried to walk to the register while precariously balancing their vegetables on top of their bowls. “They can’t take this from us!” one worker shouted adamantly. “Sure, giving them pizza crust as thin as tissue paper is funny too, but it just doesn’t hit the same.”
Barnard administrators have met with the workers and appear to be working out a compromise. The exact details of the deal have yet to be released, but our source on the inside reports that it will involve a return to original portion sizes in exchange for the removal of literally all food from Hewitt.
