President Katrina Armstrong has declared that The Art of the Deal by Donald Trump will be added as required reading in all CC classes beginning next semester. “I know some community members have expressed their surprise after our recent announcements regarding cooperation with the federal government’s demands of Columbia. I want to make sure students understand that they are our priority, and that Columbia’s leadership is committed to ensuring this institution has the highest possible quality of education.”
When asked how a book that only has a 3.7 rating on Goodreads could be a required reading for Ivy League students, Armstrong stated, “I believe this valuable piece of literature will add to our 270-year mission of bootlicking– Sorry, education, and is definitely not an attempt at further appeasement of fascism. But like, make sure the president hears about this.”
