Shortly after Pro-Palestinian protestors occupied Milstein Library, the entire building was evacuated due to an alleged “bomb threat.” Many have been looking dubiously upon the nature of this threat, which some believe was an excuse to allow the NYPD onto campus to arrest protestors.
Initially, the origin of this bomb threat was not revealed to students, who were unsure why, if the threat was so serious, the administration insisted on a business-as-usual approach the same day. In an exclusive interview with Barnard President Laura Rosenbury, The Federalist identified the cause of the bomb threat: Rosenbury, herself.
While campus turmoil ensued on March 5, Rosenbury was in Miami, Florida, enjoying some much-needed “fuck my job” time at an all-inclusive resort on the college’s dime. “All of a sudden,” she told us, “I was getting a call from a senior administrator and told that I was on speakerphone with protestors. At this point, I’d already had a couple mimosas at brunch with the gals (we missed you, Grinage!), a poolside cocktail, and was halfway through my borg. So, I wasn’t entirely there, if you know what I mean.”
When questioned about the bomb threat itself, Rosenbury appeared embarrassed. “Yeah, so I get really chatty when I drink. Everyone thinks I enjoy being a hardcore bitch, but I’m actually a bit of a party animal! I was telling whoever was on the phone that my mango-flavored frozen margarita was ‘da bomb,’ which got lost in translation and blown way out of proportion. Pun not intended… God, I’m bad at this. The next thing I knew, someone was asking if they should call the NYPD. To which I think I said something along the lines of, ‘Yeah, whatever. Can I get a refill?’”
Rosenbury has taken accountability for much of the chaos that followed her phone call, including the nine student arrests, promising to avoid taking work calls when she’s consumed more than four alcoholic beverages “from now on.”
