Hot off the presses—Columbia’s resident bald baddie Dean Josef Sorett was spotted on College Walk yesterday in a scandalous getup: a black beanie and aviator sunglasses. Why would this chrome-domed diva cover that shiny bald head and those dreamy steely baby blues? Why has he taken on this model-off-duty nonchalant rockstar persona? Simple: he’s going incognito to see the state of Columbia, Undercover Boss style. Sorett was seen going up to fellow sunglassed “peers” and saying, “Suh, dude. Love the Ray-Bans. Do you think there is room for peaceful dissent in the Columbia Community while upholding our shared values?” He then griddied away to another unsuspecting beanie bro and said “My slime, is that Carhartt? No way! Would you like to take your ID card and heart to a really chill event in Earl Hall tonight?” The Fed asked one of these accidental victims their thoughts after the interaction: “I mean, he was a little weird, but lowkey there were some chill vibes. I’d dap him up at Senior Night.”
Undercover Boss? Dean Sorett Spotted in Beanie and Sunglasses
