Last week President Trump announced the erection of a new body: the Committee On Containing Knowledge (C.O.C.K.), tasked with erecting standards for educational material. Described as “the climax of our efforts to reform teaching in America” by Joseph J. Rogan, a well-known Ivermectin enthusiast and a nominee for head of the department, many Americans have already begun expressing their ecstasy at this new policy thrust whipped out by the Trump administration. The announcement encompasses a plan for a well-lubricated yet firm system of bureaucracy, including a website for eager citizens to submit their tips.
In an attempt to beat off the critics, President Trump has satisfied the public by announcing that he has a rock hard commitment to C.O.C.K. and will be increasing the national budget to ensure a well-endowed funding base. With his finger clearly on the throbbing pulse of American politics, Trump declared the new committee would have several divisions, including the Bureau Of Oppressing Books (B.O.O.B.), the Association of School Standards (A.S.S.), and the Committee on Loyalty, Instruction, and Teaching (C.L.I.T.). The administration proclaimed this committee would “usher in a new type of protection” for Americans across the country, who will no longer have to be exposed to things like “ideas” or “knowledge.”
