I walked into Ferris looking for a delectable treat,
but nothing caught my eye save for some mystery meat!
Given the cleanliness — heck, there’s even a new floor!!
I figured it couldn’t be something I would abhor.
I made my way to the fated trough, grabbed a plate —
Ooo, I just know this will sate!
You may question my judgment, but I’m not easy to please.
I verily saw the one true cure to my munchies!
It had a lovely brownish hue, and to be honest with you all,
I still never will find fault in this meal, my downfall.
The anonymous animal was a most sumptuous pleasure.
I got three helpings and ate at my leisure.
Never mind the ever so slightly carbonated juice leaking out,
Nothing in life is perfect, not even that scent, so delicious to my snout.
They say that time heals all wounds, and that’s a nice refrain –
my digestive tract will never be the same.
I’ll never regain those hours spent on the porcelain throne;
The Barnard Hall all-gender bathrooms became my second home.
I’ve always been asked, Do you regret taking a portion to go?
And I will continue to shake my head: No.
