Were you too young to experience the 2015 Hillary Clinton email scandal? Good news! WikiLeaks has outdone itself, releasing email correspondence between Professor Clinton and the Secret Service where she requests more agents who look like Timothée Chalamet.
In the message, Professor Clinton was quoted as saying, “I lowk need me some ugly hot,” claiming office hours with a bi Barnard girl radicalized her. The email continued with several NSFW paragraphs before Professor Clinton got to her official request: “Get some Timmies up in this bitch [Columbia University.]” As a reference, the email concluded with a 3GB folder consisting of Timothée Chalamet thirst traps that Professor Clinton sourced from TikTok.
The Secret Service relayed initial concern that looking like Timothée Chalamet might compromise agents’ disguise as Poli Sci students. However, Professor Clinton appeared to not “gaf,” adamant she deserves a Monica Lewinsky too.
The email’s timing has raised some questions, as it was sent mere days before the Timothée Chalamet lookalike meetup in Washington Square Park. Suspiciously, a student in her Neoliberalism 101 class told the Fed that Professor Clinton had cancelled office hours that day.
After camping hanging out in front of the SIPA building for 26 hours, I was able to ask the former secretary of state if she has intentions of pursuing Timothée himself, and what she thinks of his relationship with famous person (?) Kylie Jenner. Hillary responded with a wink, “Well-behaved women rarely make history!”
