“Man, I Miss Winter Break,” Says Student Who Doesn’t Do Any Work During the Semester Either

As spring semester has started to kick into gear, students have already begun to grumble about the workload building up. None are more vocal than local junior, Ann O. Ying, who has been reportedly complaining to her friends that winter break was just too darn short. “I can’t believe I’m already back in school and doing all these readings,” Ms. Ying sighed, despite the fact that she had not even looked at the syllabus for four out of her five classes yet. “I just wish I could be back at home, relaxing without a care in the world, instead of working so hard and stressing myself out,” she added, having just finished sitting in Butler and going on a four-hour Instagram Reels scrolling spree. According to the Fed’s investigative reporting, Ms. Ying then proceeded to open her laptop to the Canvas tab that had been sitting untouched since December, sigh loudly when it requested Duo multi-factor authentication, and open a new tab to start looking into spring break flights.