Ahead of President-re-elect Donald Trump’s inauguration, businesses are making big changes to their environmental messaging, adapting to dire projections of climate change. Everyone’s favorite childhood restaurant, the Rainforest Cafe, has announced that they are rebranding to the Drought and Deforestation Cafe.
According to CEO Steven Schussler, “Rainforest Cafe was designed with kids in mind. This new generation of children will not know what rainforests are, so it’s time for a relevant rebrand. We feel that it is our responsibility to educate them on how badly their parents and grandparents fucked everything up.”
Beyond the renaming, restaurant decorations have also seen an upgrade. Schussler states, “We are removing all the trees and many animals. Our guests will experience a choking atmosphere of dust and illumination from extremely hot light sources, and we’re adding a faint sound of logging behind all the animal chatter. Additionally, tap water will no longer be complimentary; guests will need to travel to their nearest freshwater source and retrieve the water themselves.”
Schussuler explained that the restaurants will phase out the “Rainforest” moniker and gradually switch over to the new name depending on the predicted severity of climate change to the location’s region. The chain’s locations in the United Arab Emirates will experience the name change first.
