Fearing an imminent change in employment, Mayor Eric Adams was recently seen editing his application to the School of General Studies, unsure if his knowledge of the Turkish language will help or hinder his chances at admission.
According to sources at the mayor’s office, Adams is preparing for a career shift out of politics, and feels that a new four-year degree might help with his pivot to a new industry. His application to join the Class of 2029 comes at a time of great scrutiny following his indictment on charges of corruption relating to foreign nationals.
“The mayor is proud of his time learning the beautiful language of Türkiye Türkçesi, but doesn’t want to scare the admissions officer by making them think of any recent scandals,” said one of Adams’ mayoral aides, before interrupting our transcription to ask if we were hiring. Adams reportedly feels that including the language would showcase his global perspective, but also might increase the chances that the phrase “Eric Adams Turkish” is Googled by an admissions officer.
Adams was last seen hiring himself for a city administration internship to pad out his ten extracurriculars.
