Like clockwork, Columbia’s class registration system has shut down as students try to select their classes for the Spring semester. An anonymous employee of the Registrar’s Office told The Federalist that the hamster wheel responsible for keeping the registration system up and running has derailed. It is unclear whether the hamster, Lenny, is in stable condition. Lenny has been an employee of Columbia University since the late 1970s, when he helped create SSOL.
Recently, animal rights activists have questioned the ethics of using Lenny to run such a large system like SSOL. This is not the only hamster-wheel system currently operated at Columbia, a similar contraption is used to power the elevator in Hamilton Hall.
