President Armstrong has reportedly been what many call “a little too excited” about the Minouche Shafik Halloween costume she recently put together at Party City. Many of her known associates have reported seeing her try to method act into her role as the character in preparation for Slate this year. Dean Josef Sorett told all to The Federalist:
“I saw her staring into the mirror last night and repeating ‘Dear Members of the Columbia Community,’ over and over. She has also begun work with a dialogue coach to learn how to say absolutely nothing in the most wordy and eloquent language possible.”
The Federalist asked the staff of Dodge Fitness Center what kinds of exercises she has been doing to mimic the body language of Shafik.
“She’s been doing 3 sets of chest flies daily, and during each rep she shrieks, ‘Close the gates!’ as loudly as possible,” reported one staff member.
In other news, Minouche Shafik herself has been seen in a King George III Halloween costume, singing “You’ll be Back” from Hamilton in the British Parliament bathrooms.
