Have you ever walked by that silly little marble bench while you’re on the way to take up too much space at Milstein’s tiny tables? Ever noticed that the bench has cute sayings on it like “Stupid people shouldn’t breed”? Turns out the bench isn’t just for sitting! In fact, it’s an experimental piece by the artist Jenny Holzer (who’s not even a Barnard alum???).
The Fed sent reporters to raid her studio to find the phrases she was originally brainstorming to use for that bench! Here’s the scoop:
- You’re never as funny as you think you are
- Those loafers will ruin your feet
- Your lucky numbers are: 23 12 43 59 50 32
- “Lost in New York? How’d you get lost in New York? It’s a grid system, motherfucker! Where you at? 24th and 5th? Where you wanna go? 35th and 6th? 11 up and one over, you simple bitch!”
- Seriously, don’t buy those loafers
- Do do da da goo goo ga ga boo boo ba ba
- Noo don’t kill yourself your so sexy aha
- Eugenics is a noble hobby, okay?
Want to see any of the above carved in stone? For the low, low price of 750,000 USD, the Fed will hire our very own stonemason, just for you and whatever nonsense you want on a bench! Luv ya! 🙂
