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Columbia Ranked #1 School in Presidential Turnover Rates

A new USNews report released on Sunday revealed Columbia’s rise in USNews’ specialized rankings, reportedly due to recent data releases regarding the employment statuses of past university presidents.

Over the last three years, the position of University President was held by three different individuals, an anomaly not only for an Ivy League Institution, but also for any university in the US. 

“Most universities will have some presidents dropping out every few years or so,” explains U.S. News in its recent ranking release, “but three consecutive years where 100% of the University Presidents left the institution is inexplicable. Columbia is truly outstanding by this metric.”

While many students and faculty have polled negatively on administrative shifts over the last three years, some held differing opinions. The lower ranking and shifting presidential positions were no issue to Percival Chang, an Early Modern European History PhD student who was overjoyed at the recent events. 

“Usually, the only time you see this amount of turmoil and depositions is after the king is dead and the guillotine is rusty with blood,” gushed Chang. “To see so many internal coups and hierarchy shifts all within a university’s bureaucracy is honestly breathtaking.”