Oh, you were at Brooklyn Mirage (pre-serial killer, obvs) bouncing around in a white tank with no bra on? That’s cool. I was trying to catch the B up to Times Square/42nd St to make it to my 9-5 without ruining my Babaton white blouse with sweat stains. You were calling Arca ‘mother’ over aperol spritzes at Le Dive? Great. My actual mother was calling me every day to ask me how my applications for fall internships were going. No, I will not guess the color of your underwear; I already had to meet with HR this week. You were sniffing lines? So happy for you! I was waiting in line for 20 minutes every morning to get my boss their Iced NOLA Shakerado. You spent your life savings on a boiler room set? I splurged two months ago and got steak in my CAVA bowl, and my wallet’s still recovering. While you were using the BRAT generator to jazz up your Instagram, I was using generative AI to increase business synergy. We simply are not the same. But yeah, I’m sooo glad you had a Brat Summer. Good luck spinning your “Merkins and MDMA” party into a marketable skill on LinkedIn.
I Didn’t Have a Brat Summer. I Was Too Busy Having a Job.
