Have you ever exited Hewitt–brownie, pizza, and soft serve in hand–and been stared down by a brown-haired, turtlenecked headshot of the elusive “Barnard Dietitian?” Perhaps you also pondered questions like: should I schedule an appointment? Is this the start of my health journey? Has anyone actually ever visited Ms. Erika?
Well folks, this is your sign to schedule that appointment.
Recent investigations found that Erika DeMinno’s calendar has been all filled by meetings with a secret, celebrity client: none other than TikTok and YouTube star, Nikocado Avocado.
Earlier this week, Nikocado Avocado revealed to his 4.3 million YouTube subscribers and 4.2 million TikTok followers that he had been on a secret weight loss journey for the last two years. The ex-mukbang YouTuber shocked the internet with this news after receiving widespread hate and concern for years about his health decline.
Barnard Junior Grace W. reported to The Fed that she saw Mr. Avocado exiting a room in “that one hallway that students always get yelled at for cutting through” when she was a First Year student, but assumed it was promo-related for the Joy*Ful event that the school “goes way too hard for.” However, new intel within Barnard Dining–i.e. taking a few seconds to actually read the posters they put up–hints at this being the location of the Barnard Dietician’s office.
With the awfully convenient constant breakdowns of the dining hall’s ice cream machine and the extreme lack of Oreo supply, it would seem that Erika DeMinno is also always “two steps ahead.”
