Declaring that they were “getting back to their roots” and expressing their “sadness that it didn’t work out,” the Columbia University Board of Trustees announced in a recent email that they plan to move forward with more restrictive hiring criteria for all future Columbia presidents, effective immediately. “While we were glad to see the work Shafik has done and wish her well as she rejoins the House of Lords, we want future candidates to better reflect Columbia’s long and storied history: our previous 269 years of being led exclusively by white men,” stated a person familiar with the matter. Pushing back against rumors that the university would not pursue candidates from diverse backgrounds, the source, who spoke under the conditions of anonymity, confirmed that the presidential search committee will seek out applicants from a wide variety of Ivy League schools, even Cornell. “The Board just wants everyone to know that we are going back to what works,” confirmed a second source who detailed Columbia administrators reportedly removing all demographic options besides “white” and “male” on their hiring applications.