BREAKING: To boost campus morale, President Minouche Shafik announced that she is bringing back former President Bollinger’s esteemed “Fun Run 5k Run/Walk” on Monday. The event will offer Shaf-food (mini pretzel bags and nutella biscuits), Shafreshments (frost gatorade), Shafactivities (limbo, bounce house, pin-the-blame-on-the-student-group-donkey), and possibly even a Shafeech (Shafik-Speech) delivered from the President’s ivory tower.
In response, the law professor formerly known as PrezBo has proclaimed that his “Fun Run 5k Run/Walk” will continue, just sans t-shirts and around lower Manhattan. This run will be geared towards commuter students and Boyalists (Bollinger-Loyalists).
Students are encouraged to join in on the Shafestivities this Sunday, where the run will begin on Low Steps and finish in the Mudd basement.
