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Chef Don Releases New Pizzas for Each College

Graphic by Zoe Davidson

Chef Don’s new dining hall has been an instant hit with both campus pizza enthusiasts and the concerning amount of students who know more than fifty digits of pi. To celebrate the second half of the semester, Don plans to release new pizza pies to represent each college, and Spectador has the inside scoop:

Columbia College: Cheese pizza with a stuffed center

Just like students in CC, dining hall-goers will have a hard time finishing this core, but that won’t stop them from bragging about how difficult it was to their Barnard and GS friends!

SEAS: Camembert, onions, and garlic bread crust

Almost as smelly as a SEAS kid with an Art of Engineering project due tomorrow!

School of General Studies: Aged white cheddar and pickles

Old.

Columbia Business School: Chef Don’s Grandma’s Special

In the spirit of entrepreneurship, the same product recycled with a new name.

Columbia Climate School: Veggie special

Oh, you talk all big about global warming, but you still wanna eat red meat? 

Columbia Journalism School: Regular cheese plus a random piece of hair

Great for a big inside scoop on the decline of restaurant health standards (Koronets what’s up!? Don’t worry we won’t RAT you out)

Jewish Theological Seminary: Just a bagel with lox

Oy vey! You’re looking too skinny lately! Bubbe will fatten you up!

Barnard

You didn’t really think your swipes would work here, did you?