“ACAB,” Says Girl Going as Sexy Cop for Halloween

GREENWICH, CONNECTICUT—Earlier this year, Hannah Scott (CC’22) shocked her Instagram followers by posting a black square with the caption “#ACAB.” In an exclusive interview with Federalist reporters, Scott said, “Yeah, I’m just trying to do my part to, like, dismantle white supremacy or whatever. Also, I posted a bikini pic but a bunch of people told me to ‘read the room,’ whatever that means.”

Since the Black Lives Matter movement took off this year, Scott has become a Social Justice Warrior (SJW). She deleted her “All Lives Matter!” Instagram bio and donated $5 to the ACLU (which she announced on her Instagram story, Facebook, and Twitter) and started “engaging in tough convos” with family and friends. “It’s so difficult being a white ally,” Scott told Federalist reporters. “I’m still figuring out how to make myself the victim while also not being called out for my constant microaggressions and aggressive comments. But, c’est la vie! I learned that one from Emily in Paris—I love learning about new cultures!”

It is interesting then, considering Scott’s newfound social justice awakening, that she has decided to dress as a sexy police officer this Halloween. When asked about her former “ACAB” statement, Scott responded, “I honestly don’t get what the problem is. I’m not one of the bad ones—I donated to the ACLU! And anyways, I’ll be wearing a body cam so it’s not like I can get away with anything.”