Georgetown Freshman Sad That She Couldn’t Go to Brunch on Wednesday

Washington DC: As the city reels after an attempted coup of government, many emotions are being deeply felt by citizens. None of them as deeply, however, as Georgetown freshman Sydney Lounsbury. “Huge bummer about my brunch plans this week. We were gonna try that cute new french cafe off Dupont Circle. You might have seen it on the news when a bunch of paramilitary and proud boys walked past it as they stormed the Capitol.” When asked about her thoughts on the sedition, Lounsbury said, “no, totally right. It was so scary! I mean, mimosas just aren’t the same when you’re surrounded by a burning city.” At press time Lounsbury expressed that she was glad she had her gala earlier last year. “Revolution would NOT have been the vibe.”