MORNINGSIDE HEIGHTS — Columbia student and recently declared Gender Studies major Alex Sawyers insisted this morning that the main reason for choosing his program of study was a love for talking about “guy shit, y’know, just dude stuff,” Federalist sources report.
“You mean I can get a degree for talking about kicking it with the boys, crushing a few brews, maybe even hitting the gym?” Sawyers, a rising Junior from Worcester, MA., said. “That’s dope as fuck.”
For Sawyers, Gender Studies has been a lifelong passion. “Ever since I was a kid, I’ve loved talking about what it really means to be a dude,” Sawyers told reporters. “When I chose Columbia, I knew I was coming to an engaging intellectual environment. Everyone here brings some unique knowledge to the table. And what do I know about? Being a fuckin’ dude, that’s for sure.”
“I dunno, I’m just like, mad confident, I probably get it from my dad,” Sawyers added. “He’s a dope public speaker.”
“I think it’s great that Alex is getting a degree in something he’s so passionate about,” Sawyers’ girlfriend Bri Cavanaugh SEAS ’19 said. “Clearly, his gender is something he knows and cares a lot about. And it means he can talk to somebody else about it for a change.”
At press time, Sawyers was spotted at the gym listening to a Judith Butler audiobook while bench pressing.
