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Christian Missionary Work Not As Glamorous As It Sounds

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Day 0

Well, Diary, it’s finally happening! I’m currently sitting in seat 22B of a non-stop Air Namibia flight. In just a few hours, I’ll forever change the lives of the Naminib- Namphibia- Naminit- the fine tribesmen of Namibia. How exciting! I’m going to build so many wells for these people, they’ll have to rename the village ‘Well-ington’. Do you get it? Funny, right? I wonder what kind of stone I’ll build the wells with. Slate? Granite? Oh, I hope it’s granite. I guess only time will tell. See you soon!

 

Day 1

Dear Diary,

I have to be frank when I say that my first thought upon arriving in this village was “Why is there already a well here?” I don’t know what to do. These people have no agricultural skills, and they don’t need a well. I don’t know how to farm, so we’re out of luck. Maybe I can teach them to pray?

 

Day 2

Dear Diary,

These people don’t speak English and no one here has watched Stranger Things. I keep making Eleven jokes and no one is getting them, but that may just be the language barrier. My host family got angry with me last night, because I was nervous and I compulsively built a well. This other family wants me to marry their daughter. But, she doesn’t smell like my mom. Is that a cultural thing? One thing I learned today is that the villagers are big fans of the 2008 and 2012 Super Bowl champion New England Patriots! 

 

Day 5

Dear Diary,

I want to prove my use, so I filled in the wells that were here when I first arrived. Now these people will have to use my anxiety-inspired well.

 

Day 8

Dear Diary,

I’m in way too deep here. I tried to perform my first baptism in the well, and I didn’t think ahead. I accidentally dropped Tjipaha into the well and we can’t seem to get him out. Luckily Tjipaha seems to be able to accept Jesus Christ and tread water at the same time. People are a tad disappointed. Maybe they’d cheer up if I made them all personal wells?

 

Day 12

Dear Diary,

OK. I’m starting to get really pissed off here. I just found out that the villagers have been throwing all the Bibles I gave them down my well. Oh Lord! I hope they don’t land on poor Tjipaha’s head.

 

Day 18

Dear Diary,

So after I built the tenth well, the village seems to be slowly turning into a sinkhole. On the bright side, we’re ten feet closer to rescuing the first baptism! Oh and ten feet close to having a wave pool! I tried to take a picture of the families to celebrate this occasion, but the kids just seem to depressed. If these freaking kids aren’t going to smile for my Facebook photo, I’m not so sure they deserve a well.

 

Day 35

Dear Diary,

The first baptism died but I told the villagers it’s fine because he went to Heaven. They didn’t buy it.

 

Day 40

Dear Diary,

I’m not doing so well…

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