MUSEUM OF NATURAL HISTORY, PLEASE GET ME OUT OF HERE – Chad Mcbride CC ’20, woke up the morning of his FroSci trip and made the daring decision to skip and get a few extra hours of sleep instead. “They said it couldn’t be done, but I did it.”
According to his friends, who were all shocked by his fearlessness, Chad spent many long hours agonizing over the merits of his decision, but was finally swayed by a particularly compelling arguments from his roommate: “Fuck that shit, man.” His suitemate reportedly offered the pivotal case: “Why would you wake up on a Saturday to go look at some big-ass dinosaur? Fuck, dude, if it’s Neil DeGrasse Tyson you’re looking for, just go on Twitter and say the Earth is flat.”
Ultimately, their powerful rhetoric outweighed the utter bliss of the promised Shake Shack dinner afterwards. “We’ll get a Shake Shack up in Morningside soon enough,” McBride said. “It’s not worth looking at some dead animals for hours just so you can eat one after. My time would be better spent trying to touch my tongue to my elbow.” Nevertheless, some sources claim that they saw Chad with his face pressed to the glass during the dinner, looking longingly at his classmates while sadly sipping a watery, melted Jamba Juice.
As of press time, Chad could be seen sitting in a Carman lounge deliberating about another intrepid decision: whether or not to skip the lightly recommended weekend Lit Hum trip to the Met.
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