Following the news of the involvement of several prominent Columbia professors in the Epstein files, CULPA has announced a new feature: professors’ profiles will now show the “broken heart emoji” to indicate…
On ██████ 2024, several members of our ██████████ staff attended a ██████ hosted by ██████████ ████████ at his ██████ in the ██████████. We want to assure our readers that no ██████████ ██████…
Chef Mike’s Sub Shop, the beloved on-campus dining institution, was issued 11 sanitary violations following a recent inspection by the New York City Health Commissioner. Among the various offenses listed by the…
In a shocking turn of events, a recent investigation by the Spectador discovered a series of disturbing hazing incidents stemming from the “foremost pre-professional society for students interested in government,” otherwise known…
Recently, Iowa State Police released a tape of the University of Iowa Alpha Delta Phi fraternity depicting several pledges hidden in a fraternity house basement, blindfolded and being hazed. The scene was…
As readers may recall from a previous issue of The Federalist, Little Gregory—a tiny man trapped inside The Fed’s printing press—has come forward to talk about his experience as a labor rights…
Ferris Booth Commons made the bold decision to offer a “Seafood Boil” at the made-to-order station a few weeks ago. The “Seafood Boil” is a dish that became increasingly popularized this year…
After weeks of fighting the good fight for better working conditions, the New York City nurses’ strike has ended due to the death of every single one of their patients. Despite this,…
Columbia’s Administration has heard your many—many, unrelenting, truly unending— complaints, and, after months of careful consideration, is introducing the perfect solution: CUID Premium. This multi-tiered subscription service will offer a variety of…
Polly Tickl, managing editor of Columbia’s premier journal for review of politics, was proud and honored to be called forth when a man collapsed on the ground after complaining of chest pains. …
Addressing housing and overpopulation concerns, newly crowned President Jennifer Mnookin has announced a new plan to halve the total student population, either across the stomach or “right down the middle.” Half of…
In the perilous depths and plateaus of despair that have mired campus, the strong and effervescent Columbia Women’s Basketball team has risen above the rest to deliver unto us holy victory. The…
The Justice Department’s release of three million additional files from the Epstein investigation has sent shockwaves through the Columbia community, implicating several prominent professors, trustees, and “Center for Well-Being” namesakes. However, none…