Following the success of the Apple TV drama Severance, JJ’s has instituted the severance procedure for all its visitors. Once you go down those sticky, slippery stairs, you won’t remember anything your…
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Each year of my life, I’ve looked forward to the beginning of…
In a recent April newsletter, Barnard Dining announced that only Barnard students…
NEW YORK, NY—Interim President Katrina Armstrong of Columbia University announced today that…
In recent campus news, Columbia representatives announced that legacy admission students would now be given a leg up in getting into the university: “We believe that the debates about the impact of…
Last Saturday, senior advisor Elon Musk stepped into work after a long night of playing video games, tending to a fire started by dollar bills, and a strange dream involving a ghost…
Barnard College’s renowned Dance department recently announced that industry legend and former Dance Moms star Abby Lee Miller will be joining the faculty as an adjunct lecturer. For the Fall 2025 semester,…
To reinforce its mission of empowering young women, Barnard College announced that it will begin barring campus entry to Columbia students for the next 229 years beginning next Fall. This particular time…
In a surprising and controversial move, the Activities Board at Columbia (ABC) has announced that they will be removing further funding from all student groups under their banner. This will not be…
ASPEN, CO—A shocking new report from the Department of Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes has exposed an undercover collaboration between BigSki and BigKneeDoctor, with insiders alleging that ski resorts have been intentionally…
Have you been enjoying The Fed’s content this year? Love the creative direction? Well, I hate to break it to you, but The Fed is run by SECRET NEPO BABIES. See the…
toothbrush tussle: NOUN, a battle between two people at a communal bathroom sink over who can brush for longer and therefore be better and smarter and win at life I don’t exactly…
An Official Statement from The Office of Cuomo For Mayor Ciao New York! It’s your favorite overly handsy Italian American, and I’m seeking your vote for Mayor of New York! I know…
Recently, there has been an uptick of students who try so, so hard to be nonchalant in their everyday lives on campus. Examples of this nonchalant behaviour include avoiding eye contact with…
Dear Columbia Students, We’ve heard your complaints. Despite our new locations this year, there is still one major glaring issue we haven’t been able to address when looking across all of Columbia’s…
