"It’s more of a gut feeling, or an art --though knowing their SAT scores never hurts.”
It’s dark in there, Mikey.
All five Green Party members attended.
"I don't want to be schvitzing about my 401k come April 15th."
Do not make the mistake of assuming size is a barrier to love.
In 15 minutes, you could save 15% or more on nard insurance.
"Did these rural whites only read the Sparknotes?"
The victims looked “drop dead gorgeous.”
“Let’s just say I have a feeling we’ll be getting an awful lot of press,” spokesman Moshe Feinberg said with a wink.
"This definitely isn't targeted at a particular candidate," RNC Chairman Reince Priebus says.
"We weren't sure if he was concealing a weapon or just a balloon animal. We couldn't take the risk."
"Don't bother shopping for corrective lenses - they're ableist."
No Republican has won the presidency without winning America's left nut.
The operation eased his endorsement of Donald Trump.
You might be asking yourself, "How long do I have to touch a boob to be a feminist?"
Would you take a handful?
"It's rare to find a candidate so clearly qualified for the program."
"She is an emblem of the American Dream for the billions of non-biodegradables who come to this country every year."
"They should have at least stretched the thing out until primetime."
His jalapeño poppers had to be shoved precariously past the bread basket.
"We're a brand for douches of all races and creeds, so long as they can pass for white."
America is riding a one-way bus to Flavortown,
The team consistently heads the rankings.
Everybody loves showing up to work after completely sweating out their harmful toxins.
"Nine dollars for a hot dog? What am I, the one percent?"
It was widely hailed as one of the most heartfelt moments of the convention thus far.
No one was prepared for the full-frontal shot.
With no copy/paste option at his disposal, Clinton worries he'll have to draw from his own experiences.