This past week I’ve spent a lot of time and energy thinking about something that’s bothered me for a long time. I know I’m great at writing opinion pieces, and that you all love hearing my thoughts about relevant cultural topics like “What All Roommates Think About Each Other but Don’t Say” and “The Dangers of Mixing Strawberry Lemonade, Svedka and Lime-aritas.” But now I have some more weighty thoughts to share with you, and by God I can’t decide what medium I should use to share them with you.
On one hand, there’s the Columbia Spectator, where I feel I can really connect with a small group of likeminded, unhappy Columbia freshmen. I can submit my piece into the veritable marketplace of ideas, where everyone will applaud me for my bravery and insight into how ‘problematic’ the Columbia Core is.
On the other hand, Odyssey Online provides a platform for me to gripe about all the different struggles that college kids inevitably face. Not to mention the fact that I can reach a much, much, much higher readership with Odyssey Online. Granted, there will be a few Cornellians in the mix, but I’m willing to take it down a few reading levels to make my thoughts more accessible.
What do y’all think?
IN OTHER NEWS
4. Kill the author of this article.
"Frankly, between seeing you at Thanksgiving, Christmas, and now this, I’m tired of your shit,” Grandma Ester tearfully remarked as she dug the ceremonial meat cleaver into her gnarled forearm.
"I swear, I saw him slide all the way from the top of the library steps down to the bottom right after it rained!"
"Just what I need to deliver an understated, disinterested broadcast."
"I’ve been donning the turban and scepter every Halloween since I was 6 years old, after all, and it’s never brought anything but delight to every one of my friends in Greenwich, Connecticut."
"I did feel like the original ending of instituting a Demilitarized Zone between the Koreas was a total cop out.”
"My audition is coming up, and the fact that you won’t let me run my lines by you while you’re watching TV is a textbook infringement on my right to free speech."
"Jesus, what a tease," exclaimed a still-parched local man.