This past week I’ve spent a lot of time and energy thinking about something that’s bothered me for a long time. I know I’m great at writing opinion pieces, and that you all love hearing my thoughts about relevant cultural topics like “What All Roommates Think About Each Other but Don’t Say” and “The Dangers of Mixing Strawberry Lemonade, Svedka and Lime-aritas.” But now I have some more weighty thoughts to share with you, and by God I can’t decide what medium I should use to share them with you.
On one hand, there’s the Columbia Spectator, where I feel I can really connect with a small group of likeminded, unhappy Columbia freshmen. I can submit my piece into the veritable marketplace of ideas, where everyone will applaud me for my bravery and insight into how ‘problematic’ the Columbia Core is.
On the other hand, Odyssey Online provides a platform for me to gripe about all the different struggles that college kids inevitably face. Not to mention the fact that I can reach a much, much, much higher readership with Odyssey Online. Granted, there will be a few Cornellians in the mix, but I’m willing to take it down a few reading levels to make my thoughts more accessible.
What do y’all think?
IN OTHER NEWS
"I've been good this week, and I should treat myself," said Freddy Simone, 25, after seven days spent doing the bare minimum at his job.
Mr. Ducovich was unfazed by the water; he removed his “Grill Master” t-shirt, and eagerly waded to the pool’s deep end. “Kids, don’t listen to your mother, it’s actually really refreshing,” he said.
“We realized no grocer in the nation gives customers the choice of whether to bid or buy now, which made us think: ‘Why not let people enter bidding wars for that last dry Lo Mein under the heating lamp?’”
"Not saying I wanted the full sabotage apparatus, but a few measly articles about Obama’s forged birth certificate would have really come in handy when Sarah Palin couldn’t name a single newspaper.”
"If you have the border wall, you already have the two countries. Problem solved."
President Trump discreetly spat gum into his paper, before crumpling it and stuffing it in the Wall.
"Let me bury my secrets deep inside that expensive leather man-bag you keep strapped to your lanky midwestern frame."
"These people don’t speak English and no one here has watched Stranger Things."