The Core Curriculum is supposed to turn its students into refined, sophisticated citizens. But months after the release of rap group Migos’s smash hit “Bad and Boujee,” uncultured swine Dan Swanson CC ’18 admits that he still doesn’t know what “boujee” means.
“When my friends reference the song, I just laugh and pretend like I get it,” Swanson said. “But the whole time I’ve been wondering, what the fuck does that mean? Is that even a word?”
Swanson said that even after seeing the term in countless Instagram captions—mostly on the accounts of white girls—he has yet to glean its meaning.
“My best guess is that it has something to do with pregaming in a frat’s backyard on Bacchanal, but again, I really have no idea,” Swanson said.
Swanson, a pleb, also added that he doesn’t know who Saint Pablo is, either.
“I don’t remember that guy from the Gospels at all!” Swanson said.
In Other News
She is distraught that Joey has not responded to her calls for weeks about his care package and that nice girl from Bacchanal.
You can’t be emasculated by this guy. He’s got a ponytail, 1970s aviator glasses, and pink socks under his L. L. Bean boots.
Sixth Floor: PART OF THE COLUMBIA CS CLUB
Seventh Floor: PROFOUND AND EVERLASTING LONELINESS
Eighth Floor: WRITES FOR SPEC
For your reference, a good rule of thumb for networking is that, if Mo Bamba played in the background for 75% of our conversation, I probably don’t intend to strike up a professional relationship.
“Now, the dipshit’s gone and pissed off Shub-Niggurath, the Black Goat of the Woods with the Thousand Young,” Core professor Ricardo Hernandez said.
In his concluding remarks, Bollinger made a surprising revelation: “I have been notified by my ancestors that all lands previously inhabited by the Lenape people have been granted to me, personally.”
Otis Wofford, CC ’22, expressed his discontent with the decision. “Women, men and gender non-conforming folks being a part of the same institution? The social justice warriors are out of control.”
At first we thought our challenges wouldn’t be insurmountable. We thought that with discipline, resolve, and a heavy dose of hard work, Spec would persevere.
But then came the op-eds.
“I’m told at one point, the quiz registered full attendance while only twelve students were in the room,” police chief Marcellus Johnson explained. “Something had to be done.”
“He just looks so thin and pale in his facestagrams that I knew I had to give him his own mother’s medicine: my famous Latkes!” Marsha said.