MORNINGSIDE HEIGHTS - Rex Johnstone always knew he wanted to help people. But just 6 months into starting as a prospective Human Rights major at Columbia, Johnstone began been questioning whether protecting inalienable freedoms was truly his calling. According to his closest friends, everything changed when he took Sunil Gulati’s “Principles of Economics” class.
“I just realized money is so interesting and important,” said Johnstone, “and that if I get a lot of it, I too could be interesting and important.” Following this realization, Johnstone landed a spot in McKinsey & Company’s prestigious Summer Internship Program for Liberal Arts Students Who Make It Look Like Our Employees Have Interests Other Than Money.
Reflecting on his internship experience, Johnstone gushed: “I was so intellectually and existentially fulfilled. Just by working 18 hours a day, I could avoid asking myself the deep, soul-searching philosophical questions I used to struggle with.”
Asked what other things he liked about McKinsey, Johnstone said, “Well, it’s the best one. Like it’s on Forbes and shit.”
Johnstone’s story is a touching example of how academic passions and existential ambitions can collide in a creative environment like McKinsey’s. Click here to learn more about opportunities to change the world in full and part-time positions.
In Other News
"If only Trump and Muslim refugees could sit down at the negotiating table and enjoy a bowl of Pizza Twist Macaroni..."
"I didn’t choose to want to fuck Paul Ryan. It’s just the way I am."
"Governor Reuben won a landslide victory to become the state’s first Toasted-American governor."
The study found that "no genitalia" also discouraged intercourse.
"Without a trigger warning, we have no way of knowing when a British journalist is about to have his guts spilled out onto the desert floor."
"Past tweets included personal attacks on Washington officials, celebrities, and random citizens from Indiana..."
"I’m sure this news will be met with disappointment."
“Taking flight using only the motion of your penis is really all about confidence."
Gorsuch is the first Fed alumnus to land a job interview.
"Like, although I wasn’t thrilled about it, I got Obamacare because the Cheesecake Factory doesn’t have dental insurance."