A viral post-inauguration tweet by a White House employee sparked outrage when it was picked up by Buzzfeed and other outlets last week. The tweet contained several wildly false claims about the election, citing a series of statistics which failed to live up to the standards the White House expects of its executive staff. Even after being disciplined by several senior officials with a vigorous time out, the employee refused to delete the tweet, and continued tweeting late into the night.
Upon further investigation, The Federalist discovered that the employee had previously tweeted similarly incendiary content. Past tweets included personal attacks on Washington officials, celebrities, and random citizens from Indiana, conspiracy theories, racially offensive and misogynistic messages,attempts to discredit major media organizations, and, most shockingly, a description of Meryl Streep as “over-rated.”
Online petitioners from around the nation immediately called for his firing, stating the belief that this Twitter post had simply gone too far.
The employee’s name will not be publicly released. Aides close to the West Wing tell us that his duties have been suspended until further notice. As of press time, Jared Kushner will be assuming the staffer’s duties.
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1. Stimulate James McShane to near ecstasy at the mere mention of “theft alert.”
Learn a thing or two from the Fed's wisest.
"Usually we let the admissions process grind them up and spit them out, but we had to step in here."
"Columbia must have been his safety school. Anyone with a dick that nice applied to Harvard early.”
"To all the students emailing me to 'talk about the class,' just drop it. I’m not interested."
"Approach the first hot girl you see, taking the shortest path possible—use Dijkstra’s algorithm here if necessary."
"I'm submitting my piece into the veritable marketplace of ideas, where everyone will applaud me for my bravery and insight."